Virtual visitation can help to keep parents and kids connected when a child regularly moves between two households. But what happens when one co-parent resists or refuses to consider virtual contact arrangements?
If you co-parent with your child’s other parent, you may be well aware of the fact that convincing one’s co-parent to embrace virtual visitation can be challenging, particularly if tensions from one’s divorce or differing parenting styles get in the way of compromise and a spirit of cooperation. However, with patience, respect and a child-centered approach, you may be able to turn this situation around.
Emphasize the benefits for your child
Most co-parenting decisions should start with the question: What is best for our child? Virtual visitation offers consistency, especially during disruptions like illness, travel or unexpected scheduling conflicts. It allows your child to maintain a regular relationship with both parents—even outside of your primary custody schedule. Frame the conversation around your child’s emotional well-being. Emphasize that consistent communication fosters security, routine and a continued sense of connection with both parents. Children often benefit from seeing and hearing their parents regularly, even if only through a screen.
Offer flexibility and structure
One reason many co-parents resist virtual visitation is concern over disruptions or inconvenience. To alleviate these concerns, propose a clear and structured virtual visitation schedule that respects both parents’ routines. Suggest short but meaningful calls at predictable times—perhaps before bedtime or after school. Additionally, be willing to adapt when needed. Flexibility shows goodwill and can encourage your co-parent to reciprocate with cooperation.
Keep it non-adversarial
If you present virtual visitation as a demand or use it as leverage, it may create more resistance. Instead, approach the topic collaboratively. Acknowledge your co-parent’s role and the importance of their relationship with your child. Let them know you’re not trying to replace or disrupt in-person time, but rather supplement it in a way that benefits everyone.
A last resort
If informal discussions stall, you may need to refer to your parenting plan or consider revising it. Many family courts now recognize the value of virtual visitation and may include it in custody arrangements, especially in long-distance or high-conflict cases. A skilled legal team can help you navigate this process if legal intervention becomes necessary.